


Letters from the Grave

by venusinthenight



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Epistolary, Gen, Past Relationship(s), Pre-Series, Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-14
Updated: 2014-07-14
Packaged: 2018-02-08 18:35:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1951818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/venusinthenight/pseuds/venusinthenight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the days before her suicide, Beth writes letters to some of her clone siblings, as well as to others in her life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letters from the Grave

**Author's Note:**

> For the purposes of this fic, I am assuming Beth knew about Sarah but didn't contact her.

Alison -

I know you see me as a very strong person. I can tell by the way you look at me, the way you address me, the way you seem to rely on me. But the truth is I’m not as strong as you think I am. I have my own demons I’m battling, ones you can’t even fathom.

I killed a woman, Ali. Her name was Maggie Chen. She was helping another clone kill others off. No one knows the real reason why I did it. She haunts me in my dreams, in my nightmares. I have to take pills just to sleep at night, to not see her, to not have to think about testifying in front of my superiors, to calm myself when I have to see my therapist.

I take them to try to deny what I already suspect: that Paul is watching me while I sleep, tracking my every move from the shadows, that he doesn’t truly love me like I love him. Just the thought makes me sick to my stomach.

I’ve probably made you paranoid confessing that to you. I’m sorry. I don’t want you to become more paranoid than you (likely) already are. I need you to be strong, to stand on your own two feet.

I’m going away, and I have no plans to come back. I cannot tell you where I’m going, or what I’m going to do, but I need you to know that I’m going to be fine. I also need you to promise that you will not look for me, no matter how much you want to. I need you and Cosima to go on without me.

You or Cosima will need to meet Katja Obinger, the German, yourselves. I cannot be there to meet her, even though I promised to meet her. She’ll be staying at the Carlsborough Hotel.

There are two other clones out there that I’ve been wanting to bring in but have been forced to put off because of reasons out of my control. Sarah Manning is local, but she’s been out of town for months. She has a daughter who’s currently living with her foster mother, and she has a foster brother somewhere in the city. I’m sure Cosima will want to get to know her. As far as I know, Sarah’s daughter is biological. Tony Sawicki is from Ohio and is transgender. I’ve been in touch with his friend, Sammy. He told me not to talk to Tony just yet, but I need to. Soon. Both Sarah and Tony deserve to know what they are, no matter their -- dare I say it? -- shady pasts. (They both have records. I’m sure that’s unsettling to you, and I’m sure you’d tell me that I’m compromising my position as a cop by bringing them into the fold, but I don’t care. They’re genetic identicals. Like us. And I’m sure they would have something to contribute. Besides, I’m suspended because of Maggie.)

Be strong, Alison. If you meet Sarah and/or Tony, look after them. If you meet Katja, look after her. Keep her safe. Take care of Cosima, too.

\- Beth


End file.
